you were a burden to somebody close to you? feeling as if you’re someone useless because you’re like some giant stone that’s weighing the person(s) down when they have no obligation to be tied to you? somehow it’s not a conscious feeling that bugs you all the time; it’s more of an underneath emotion that resurfaces every once in a while, triggered by something said or done or seen. i had that feeling last night, and i know very well that i can do so much to change this, and work harder and pull myself out of this pit of laziness that i’ve sunk into. i know all that very well, but somehow i just can’t find the motivation to not be a burden.
if it weren’t for you two, we’d be on a tour of the world right now
it sounds so stupid now that i write it out, and i know they meant it as a joke, but somehow there’s some semblance of truth in there. it’s just their way of converying what they truly mean without totally smashing your self-confidence.
Filed under: daily, lists, memories, photo-entry, random | Tags: family, funny, games, school
an update on my not-so-interesting life (since school is the only interesting thing in my life – oh wait, that wasn’t sarcastic! gasp!). well if you want some pointers on the things you can do to waste your life away in this period of emptiness (oh ib, come back!) here are some things you can try out, and hopefully it’ll reduce your waking hours enough to make you go back to sleep again:
1. Spend time with family
On Saturday i could’ve gone for the class gathering, but nooOoOoOo, my father decided that since i’ve been staying out late too much the past few days (read: oktoberfest), i’m grounded! yipeekiyay. don’t you love it when your parents give you this kind of “i’m-not-officially-grouding-you-but-then-again-you-can-tell-from-the-tone-of-my-voice-anyway” treatment. thankfully this meant that we could go out as a family.
um. it was a slight failure, but it was fun nonetheless. first of all the whole family was only awake at 1, so after lunch and a little bit to this and that we set off at 3 (sans grandma) and arrived at 4. so instead of frolicking on the beach as originally planned, the family split into two groups and headed off to do our own thing since we couldn’t decide (and to maximise net enjoyment).
mom and i went for this fish reflexology spa thingum beside underwater world. it wasn’t half bad! in fact it was quite a novelty.
left: my mom sitting at the fish pool
above: the fish nibbling at my leg
it doesn’t look as gross as that. in fact, the fish were pretty cute. basically you put your feet into a pool for 20 minutes and the fish swim up to you and nibble your dead skin. sort of like exfoliation. then after that you get a 20 minute foot massage. all that for about $38. after the thing my feet felt damn smoothhhh. haha, but since the lady told us not to wash out feet for an hour after the massage (cos they put this moisturising cream on your leg) we couldn’t go to the beach cos that’ll mean washing the sand off our feet after we’re done. :(
then after that we went to bugis junction to eat at the nanxiang xiaolongbao restaurant. it was the one in which there was a gigantic xiaolongbao that cost $10!! pam and i saw it the other day while shopping. the xiaolongbao is as big as my fist and they use a straw to puncture the top for you to suck the juice/gravy out. like lol?!?! even i have not seen such a strange bao before.
we should spend more time with out families since seldom do we get to enjoy each other’s company once school is in progress. and since people find my brother cute, here’s something to cheery you up.
i am envious that he is photogenic no matter in what angle. (BJ i hope you see this :D)
2. Play games
im now amusing myself greatly with the no$gba emulator and a whole array of nintendo ds games. too bad my computer is too slow, so i can’t play the 3D games (i know, i know), but still! being the total fail i am, however, i have to resort to walkthrough guides. um, i prefer mild games like animal crossing and taking care of a pet and all that, unlike pam chia who likes bioshock and CS and shooting/killing people. she says they are very ’shiok’. they are not very shiok for me since i spend more time dying in those games than playing anyway.
3. Do work
yes… i am actually putting in effort to try to do work (but very little effort haha)
- First TOK draft
- EE essay introduction
- SAT revision
- Read The Colour Purple
- Annotate The Colour Purple
- Buy Paddy Clarke, hahaha
- Read Paddy Clarke
- Rewrite Chinese IA 2
someone motivate me, sigh. :(
we surprised astro in the afternoon with a surprise birthday cake and grace’s heart shaped brownie cake! haha it was really quite funny cos lydia yap was in the know, so she said “lets switch off the lights to save electricity!” to prepare for the entrance of the birthday cake, and when celestyn came in with the cake only half the candles were lighted so astro had to stand around to wait for ngteckseng to light everything. cos no one knew about the cake so people were just confused and standing around.
anyway after that we had a bit of guitar prac and then it was oktoberfest! people said it was boring but i found it okay. not many people went and the crowd was just stoning most of the time. maybe cos i was watching the live bands most of the time, so i didn’t find it as boring. OMG the drummers were all so pro. did i mention, i’m trying to learn the drums off youtube (but totally failing). haha don’t laugh k!
the food made me slightly nauseous during the middle of the whole thing so that was the only down part. in the middle we had this pseudo-haunted house. guang managed to scare random people, so astro got slightly high and so he wanted to scare the next kaypo person that came through the door…. which happened to be suzzanne yeo! haha gg. she tsktsk-ed at us. so anyway after the pseudo-haunted house i went back to watch the music and left a bit earlier. and pam’s dad gave me and guang a lift, but i managed to open the door of the wrong car. haha. not to mention slam the door on guang’s leg cos i thought he wasnt getting off.
ahhhh my body’s aching all over. pleh.
it’s funny how a tiny thing can make you remember something you’d rather forget. or wish for someone who has left. i wonder if i actually listened to my heart instead of my brain more, would things have changed? if cowardliness is just an excuse for not taking risks, then i’d better off be an unfeeling, unthinking entity. sighhh where’s courage when you need(ed) it. sometimes i think keeping everything inside will be better than letting it all out and getting into awkward situations, but then what’s the point in hoping for something to happen in the past when it has already happened.
you’re gone, but i still miss you
:(
Filed under: awesomeness, daily, memories | Tags: drums, friends, funny, guitar, school
competition was too amusing. especially the one night in beijing, which is like, the kind of song people sing in china after they get really really drunk so that their sense of shame get thrown out of the window and they can sing falsetto like no other. and air guitar ftw HAHA. also there are also this guy who sung a song called “china man”, which got me in tears for a whole five minutes. IT WAS SO FUNNY!! as in in a the totally cute and non-mean way. he came out with a rap halfway through which kinda went “CHINA MAN IN DA HOUSE/ YO CHECK IT OUT YO/ I WAS FROM CHINA BUT NOW I’M IN SINGAPORE/ MY N-N-N-N-NAME IS SINGAPOREAN!!” ok so i made part of that up, but it was close! it gave my stomach a good work out, haha.
ponned the last part of the thingy cos it was too boring. learnt how to play an itty bitty bit of drums while chilling with pam, basil and marcus. like reeeeally little bit. and i would like to say that pam has bad hand-foot-eye coordination; it took her ages to learn the bit on the drums. haha but it was quite amusing. also we were hardworking and so we practiced the syf piece, but to no avail. it’s too freaking fast!! but it’s like the easiest line?! must work harder. :(
roaar my dad banned all my favourite websites!! as a result i can’t access onemanga.com, which means i have one less way of wasting my youth away using meaningless methods.
