you know the feeling, where you’re floating on cloud 9 and drifting high up in the sky, then suddenly WHAM something like a brick wall hits you in the face and you fall from the stratosphere back onto the surface of the earth. well i just got that feeling, and i got to say it ain’t nice. it’s as if some one poured cold water on you right when you’re warming up before the crackling fireplace. it’s always the same sensation; freezing up suddenly, being unable to move. it’s so stupid though, it only proves one thing, that my self-worth is not built based on who i am, but rather on what i think i am. pffft. why am i getting so huffy about this in the first place though… idk.
anyway recently i discovered this worrying trend. it’s not worrying when you’re there, but it is now. i’m praying that i hit the other end of the spectrum soon, because at the rate i’m going, i’m going to turn into a ____.
right aaaand as per usual no one knows what i’m talking about.
Filed under: awesomeness, daily, random, videos | Tags: awesome, fashion, gadgets, i sound drunk, shopping, video, weird
in between spamming boys over flowers and trying to rewrite some ias today, i took a few naps and ate pretty much anything that was edible in the house. my appetite is growing monstrous recently, dunno why. like yesterday i had 2 plates of briyani and so much shanghainese food for dinner but still woke up this morning with with a growling beast for a stomach…. whoops, too much information sorry. hehe
anw had some cafe boheme just now, but i think i’m never gonna finish that stuff!! (there’s a ginormous bottle but i can only drink damn little at a time, or risk getting dizzy from the fumes) not to mention dad’s not helping at all, since he’s the one who suddenly decided to open it anw, but refuses to drink. it’s now sitting in the fridge looking glum (well, as glum as a huge bottle of cafe boheme can anyway).
on a different note, i’m now totally in love with colonize and banc hoodies!! i decieded check it out after seeing the girl wearing some one them in bof. they’re so cute though, as expected of korean fashion, heheh.
they’re selling here and it’s around $70++ but i don’t have a bank account/paypal and they don’t do meetups either. :(((((( i like the hoodie with the doraemon in cap, in white! aiya fat hope la, poor schoolgirls like me with no bank accounts only can “window” shop. i saw this dress over at modcloth too! the charlotte dress in black and white or something: it has an interesting cut (the keyhole neckline) and it’s very mod, but it’s damn ex too. ahh i shall set up a bank account after i start working, can shop for so many nice things on the net. :DD
and i’m starting to hate my phone, lol. not only do people tell me “cover up your phone, it’s embarassing” when i’m answering a call while standing next to them (sob, it’s the stupid apple sticker), it’s really hard to type smses too. like today morning when i was trying to text people while semi-awake/half-conscious, and i had to resort to really short messages cos it was so difficult to type. the sushi game is damn fun though, but that’s pretty much the only awesome thing about this phone, the effin’ bejeweled sushi game haha. if i can, i’ll get the htc touch diamond!! unlike my phone, it looks so much sleeker and less high-profile (which my phone is, in the totally bad sense). hmm the 2nd version is coming out soon? but i bet it’s freaking expensive, like $500 for a non-contracted one, and maybe $300ish if gotten at 2nd hand.
zzzz the chinese ia is really killing me. not to mention i have to supress the urge to od on boys over flowers, grahh. today was so unexciting/lerthargy-inducing. except maybe for the disturbing stop motion film by PES i saw on weirduniverse.com about furniture doing… funny things… to each other… it was really creative/unorthodox but totally WTF-inducing (which you can check out to your own risk). anyway, here’s another fun (albeit less disturbing) piece by PES about cooking spaghetti! :D
Filed under: awesomeness, music, random, reflective, videos | Tags: emo, lyrics, songs
somewhere along the line, the freshness wore off and novelty became boring routine. and we lost that wide-eyed delight we had of our surroundings. we tire of our family members, but are bound to them by flesh and blood; we tire of our lovers, and that’s why we have so many ugly divorces in the world; we even tire of our friends, people who surround us everyday, and (sub)consciously do things to hurt them, to prove that we’re more superior. i guess it’s all in the inherently sadistic nature of humans. we’re never satisfied by the things we have, we always strive for things that we think are better, but end up even worse off. do we seek to inflate our ego with the fact that we have the power to change our circumstances? why are we never satisfied?
why am i never satisfied?
’nuff emoness, enjoy:
i’ve been roaming around
always looking down on all i see
painted faces through the places i can’t reach
i was flipping through my organizer today and i realised i was turning 18 in less than 2 weeks! oh my, i’m not sure what that means. i reread some of the previous entries in this blog, and i felt so embarrassed; why do all my posts sound so cheesy?! i blog less like a sensible, almost eighteen year old and more like a… child. a child who has a penchant for cheese and gripes about the stupidest things. i seemed to have lost all form of wit and instead replaced that with bad grammar and enough typos to make you cringe. oh man, it is precisely this reason that makes me wanna start a new blog! i guess the stuff i wanted to write sounded good inside my head, but always turned out funny when it came to actually writing it. oh well.
and i haven’t done any work all week!! i have dedicated all of my after-school hours to taking naps that i shouldn’t, haha.
you know, i have tons of these weird theories about life that spring into my head in the randomest of moments, in the strangest of places. i suppose it’s all part and parcel of trying to figure out how you fit into the whole jigsaw puzzle of life. like this people-are-movies theory i have. imagine if all of us were movies being shown in a huge cinema, where each hall was a movie to a stranger’s life; what sort of movie will your life be?
will it be a chick flick full of cliched situations and characters made of candy-floss, with a happily-ever-after, or will it be a tearjerker filled with melancholy, death and sappy music? will it be an oscar-worthy film about things that seem to matter (but really don’t), or a B-grade movie with bad pacing and no plot? will it be shot in black and white and shades of in-between, or bright technicolour? will it be filmed on location or in front of a blue screen? perhaps each one of our lives is now showing as a movie in a cinema somewhere, and people are watching us a la the truman show. maybe they’re all laughing at us; at the dramatic ironies – the things that they know just because, but we don’t, watching us as we stumble around in our day-to-day lives, fumbling about as we talk to the other characters in the movie, as they laugh at our bad acting and delivery of lines. or they might be absolutely captivated by the movie because it’s so good, i don’t know.
if i were a movie, i’d want to be one of those little light-hearted comedies about the absurdity of life; the ones that made you laugh and might not make sense but made you think at the same time. the ones that’ll irritate the hell outta you because they remind you so much about your own life it gives you a sense of deja vu (neither good nor bad). the ones that might not end the exact same way as you expected them to, but made an impression on you (though not long enough to last till the next day). but well, i doubt anyone will wanna watch my movie if i were one. perhaps once, but i’d never be meaningful enough for a second try.
p.s. i should spend less time daydreaming silly things and do something more productive. oh, and for the record? i don’t try to sound smart. i don’t even try to. i’m just trying to give people my two cents.
p.p.s. sorry for the grammar/disjointedness people; mind’s not working right.
