dreams of a pretty place far far away

i’d like to think that i’m a pretty laid-back girl who’ll take things in her stride when unpleasant things appear, but when i get really really angry (which i haven’t been for a pretty long time), i kinda scare myself. i guess the bottled up anger needs to go somewhere after all. but this’ve got me thinking… why do people always say “don’t get so worked up” or “don’t be angry” like it’s a bad thing? i mean, there are many reasons why anger is a positive emotion.

for example you get angry because you’re passionate about something. you get angry because you want to stand up for yourself and also because you aren’t a pushover. you get angry because you want to defend your beliefs and your rights. and most important of all, you get angry because you care, especially if you’re angry at somebody for doing something foolish or acting like they don’t know any better. 

also i don’t believe in holding back on anger for the sake of diplomacy cos i think you shouldn’t hold back for propriety’s sake, or just because you’re afraid you might offend somebody. you obviously wouldn’t say something blatantly derogotary (which in that case becomes a low-down insult, and that’s despicable) or untrue for the sake of hurting somebody’s feelings, but some anger is needed to get things on the right track. furthermore bottling up the tiny bits of annoyance and dissatisfaction will one day become a show of oscar-worthy drama when you snap and explode in someone’s face. that wouldn’t do, wouldn’t it! so we should all relieve the load on our chest once in a while and make our opinions clear.

however, wrath, one of the seven cardinal sins in the Christian faith, is probably the emotion that causes the most destruction in any life that it manifests in. It often appears in forms of abuse afflicted on others, whether verbal, physical or otherwise. technically, i wouldn’t call it a sin because i personally don’t believe that pride, sloth etc. are bad things. sure, they’re evil if you take them to the extreme but they’re just a normal part of life when experienced in moderation. you might go on a holy journey a la Siddhartha and be enlightened and purged of all sin, but then again, when you’re at that point in life you’re just not human anymore. those 7 things make us more human because if you aren’t human you can’t feel emotion, so i guess in a way my anger make me appreciate the fact that i’m alive even more. i guess if i were a ghost, a dead woman or some ephemeral being i wouldn’t be able to feel at all, let alone be angry!

the point is: it’s okay to be angry but not okay to be overly angry at small things. as much as we might get irritated at the small things people do, especially friends, but we should keep that kind of petty anger in check lest we lose friends due to our egos (cos ultimately being angry is all about the ego and being in control). as much as we might get all self-righteous and use anger as an excuse for some higher cause, the bottom line is that too much of one thing, expecially something as destructive as anger, is never good for anybody.

and as to why i’m so preachy all of a sudden, it’s because i found this unfinished draft sitting in my wp so i decided i should just finish it lol.